


star of the sea

by scarletpika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Slight enemies to lovers, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Sub Levi, Swearing, Violence, Yearning, also some dom levi, down with the petra slander!, jean kirstein appreciation, levi just vibes during sex lbr, lots of swearing, slight age gap, someone send these people a therapist, there is no competition between petra and clara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletpika/pseuds/scarletpika
Summary: my only fear is that my rage will fade over timeClara Richter had never liked violence. She never liked gore, or fights, andespeciallynot death. But after the fall of Wall Maria, Clara becomes numbed to the horrors of the world. She's no longer the girl who was once a self-described peacekeeper, but someone who gives into the rage of the world and leaves room for no mercy. Now, she enjoys the gore, she enjoys the fights, and sheespeciallyenjoys the violence.UNDERGOING HEAVY EDITING
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Clara Richter, Levi/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 67





	1. beginning of her end

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy welcome to star of the sea lol. i know most people who read aot/levi fics don't like oc's but i physically cannot bring myself to write y/n fics so just pretend its y/n. anyways i hope you enjoy!!
> 
> ALSO!!!
> 
> there will be heavy mention of mental health issues such as depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicide. i will have tw's at the beginning of chapters when they are mentioned, especially when i'm talking about suicide! remember to please take care of yourself and to look out for yourself!!!

She had only been fifteen at the time, babysitting her little sister Stella while their parents were at the market. The sound of Stella running around outside her house with Eren, Armin, and Mikasa, their playful shouts sounding throughout the street made Clara's heart fill with joy. Nothing else mattered to her but her sister's happiness.

"Stella!" Clara shouted. "It's time to come in! We still have to clean!"

Stella popped her head through the open window, a pout on her face. "But Eren said that we were going down to the fountain!"

"You can go down to the fountain tomorrow," Clara said softly. "But we need to clean before mom and dad get back. You know how they get when the house is a mess."

Stella pouted once more before turning back to her friends and bidding them goodbye, begrudgingly making her way into the house. Clara smiled at the sight of her sister haphazardly throwing trash away and taking care of dishes before getting up to help.

As Clara was grabbing onto a dish, she felt the house shake slightly, the plates in the cupboard rattling. She looked down at Stella, making sure she wasn't going crazy. 

"You felt that, right?" Clara asked. Stella nodded in response. 

Clara ran to the window. Something wasn't right. Her instincts were telling her that something bad was about to happen. As her eyes scanned the surrounding area, seeing her neighbors do the same, her vision connected with smoke floating up above the wall. Clara's stomach dropped as her eyes widened. A red hand came up and grasped the top of the wall, a hand that wasn't supposed to be able to reach that high. Stella had made her way to her sister, a terrifying scream coming from the ten-year-olds mouth as she grasped onto her older sister. Clara knew this was bound to happen eventually, but she hadn't expected it to happen now. She reached her hand to grasp Stella's shoulder as a large boom echoed throughout Shiganshina, eliciting another scream from Stella. Clara pulled Stella's crying and shaking body towards her as debris was sent flying past the two, crashing around their house. 

"Stella!" Clara yelled. "We need to move!" 

She clasped their hands tightly together as they quickly made their way out of the house. Screams echoed around them as people ran for safety and cover. Clara looked frantically around, searching for anyone she knew.

"Mom! Dad!" Clara shouted out, trying her best to yell above the hysteria, but it was no use. 

She tugged Stella along, following the crowd to where the Garrison was at. The two began to run as quickly as they could, but the commotion made it difficult for them to get very far. Clara scanned her surroundings as they neared the city square. She glanced back at Stella, who could barely breathe. In the hand that wasn't being grasped by her older sister was a blanket Clara had made for her one day two years ago after Stella had a nightmare, and the ten-year-old had never slept without it. Clara's heart wrenched at the sight of her sister, tears streaking her face as she clutched the fabric.

"It's going to be okay, Star-shine," Clara tried to reassure her, but the constant noise and rumbling of the city were starting to get to Clara as well. "We need to hurry to find mom and dad, okay?"

Stella nodded her head, sniffling. "What about my friends?"

Clara paused. "They'll be okay, alright? They're probably already to safety. Mikasa would never let anything happen to Eren or Armin."

Stella nodded her head once more, wiping away tears. From the corner of Clara's eye, she could see a 10-meter titan quickly approaching. Her eyes widened again as she grabbed onto Stella and dashed into a house. 

"My blanket!" Stella shouted, somehow wiggling free from Clara's embrace. 

"Stella, don't!" Clara screeched, but Stella was already in the street. Sweat trickled down the back of Clara's neck as the bad feeling crept up again. 

She sprinted out of the house, ready to grab onto Stella. However, Clara hadn't seen the hand that quickly snatched up Stella. Stella let out a blood-curdling scream, her body flailing around frantically as she tried her best to get further away from the titan. Clara could only watch in horror as the titan slowly brought Stella closer and closer to its mouth. 

_"Clara!"_ Stella screeched. "Clara help!"

Clara felt someone yank her away. The girl shoved out of the person's grasp, running towards the titan that was holding her sister.

"Stella!"

"Clara, we need to get out of here!" She heard the voice of her friend Elias from behind her. 

"Not without Stella!" She yelled back. 

The titan slowly opened its mouth as Stella was trying to break free from the titan's grasp. "Clara!" 

Elias grabbed Clara by the arm, dragging her away. He tried to turn her head so that she wouldn't see, but Clara was too adamant about getting her sister; she broke away from Elias and started sprinting towards Stella once again.

Stella was screeching Clara's name over and over as the titan lifted Stella closer to its mouth. Clara's entire body went rigid, her insides turning, her head feeling faint. Blood rained down on Clara and Elias, who watched in absolute horror, as the titan bit Stella's body in half. The blanket that once belonged to Stella fell from the sky as Elias snapped out of his trance and began pulling a hysteric Clara away. She kept trying to fight out of Elias' tight hold, but it was to no avail, she was too weak to be able to break out of his hold as she screamed Stella's name.

Ringing deafened her ears as she watched the blanket land on the rubble, as she watched the titan swallow the rest of Stella's body. She could feel Elias giving up on pulling her, instead throwing her over his shoulder and making a run for the gate. Clara felt numb. Her surroundings went past in a blur, not being able to tell where she was until Elias set her down as they approached the hoard of people trying to push their way onto the escape boats. His hands grasped her shoulders as he shoved them through the crowd. The Garrison soldiers were shouting at people, trying to keep them orderly, but the mass panic had control of the atmosphere as the citizens of Shiganshina savagely tried to save themselves. Clara could feel her legs move by force as Elias pushed them to the front. He saw Hannes putting Eren and Mikasa next to Armin on one of the boats.

"Hannes!" Elias shouted, trying to wave him down. When the soldier saw the two, he gestured for them to come towards him, securing the two a spot on the boat. 

"Clara!" Mikasa jumped up, running to give the girl a hug. Eren's state was around the same as Clara's, just slightly more stable. "Where's Stella?" 

Clara's mouth was slightly opened. Her eyes were spaced out as tears continued to trail down her face. Blood was splatted on her face and arms.

"Clara...?" Mikasa pulled back, looking up at the older girl. She sank to the ground, violent sobs wracking her body. 

"I couldn't- I couldn't s-save he-her!" 

Eren, Mikasa, and Armin looked at her in shock as she choked out her words. Tears of disbelief formed in Armin's eyes at the loss of his best friend, while Eren and Mikasa were staring straight ahead, trying to process the death of their friend and Eren's mother. 

Clara scooted away from the trio, leaning herself against the side of the boat as it slowly began moving. She had no idea whether or not her parents made it out, she had no idea where Elias' family was, and she had no idea what her life was going to become. She couldn't look Eren, Armin, and Mikasa in the eye; the mere thought that they made it out but Stella didn't pained Clara more than anything. 

When the breeze coming from the movement of the boat hits Clara's cheeks, she looked up at the destruction of her city, of her home. Titan's smashing into houses, the screams of those who are dying or lost someone tuned out her own grief. She looked at her hands, smears of blood across them-- a mark of death, a mark of destruction, and a mark of her rage.


	2. anger management issues

Sleep was a luxury to Clara Richter. 

The room was pitch black and silent if ignoring Sasha’s soft snoring. Clara had been staring at the ceiling for the past few hours, sleep not coming to her that night. She sighed softly as her eyes wandered to her roommate, realizing how jealous she was of the oblivious 15-year-old. Light yellow hues began to rise on the horizon, slightly lighting up the training grounds below them as the sky became more noticeably blue. A sigh left her once more as she sat up, rubbing her sleep-deprived eyes. Clara contemplated waking up Sasha for breakfast, knowing how aggressive Sasha gets if she doesn’t eat. She decided not to.

Typically, Clara was the first one to arrive at the canteen for breakfast, followed then by Elias. They sat at the table closest to the exit, that way they can leave as quickly as possible. The canteen quickly filled up after Clara sat at her self assigned table, her head cast downwards as she played with the porridge sat in front of her. 

“You shouldn’t play with your food.”

Clara glanced up to see Elias sitting across from her, setting his breakfast down as he gave her a tired smile. 

“I’m not hungry,” Clara sighed. 

“It’s graduation day! Be excited!” Elias tried hyping her up. “Have you decided which branch you’re going into?” 

Clara looked at Eren, Armin, and Mikasa as they sat a few tables away from them. Guilt began to creep into her again as she looked back at her porridge. 

“Maybe the Military Police,” she pondered.

Elias hummed. “Didn’t know you wanted to be the government’s lapdog for the rest of your life.”

“You’re a lapdog in any branch you go into,” Clara rolled her eyes. “At least I’d be safe.”

There was an awkward silence. Clara cleared her throat, sitting upright. “Have you decided?” 

“Well, I’m not in the top ten of our class, so I can’t join the MPs.” Elias started, taking a bite of his food. “So probably the Scouts.”

Clara tensed. “There’s always the Garrison.”

Elias scoffed. “They don’t do shit. You saw what they did five years ago: nothing.”

“The Scouts didn’t do anything either.” Clara spat.

A sigh left Elias’ mouth, knowing where this would go. He didn’t respond, not wanting to upset Clara further, so he opted for just a simple nod. 

“Well, whatever choice you choose, I know you’ll be amazing.”

Clara didn’t respond. She took a bite of her porridge, weighing her options as she had been for the past two days. A part of her wanted to forget about the titans, forget about humanity, and join the Military Police. At least there she would be safe and wouldn’t risk losing the ones she cares about.

Another, more bitter side wanted to kill every titan she could. She wanted to end the beasts that took her happiness and childhood away. Self-loathing ate her alive and she believed that the only way to get rid of it was to kill those that had killed Stella. Her cold eyes looked at the trio once again, her body shaking slightly as she gripped her spoon tighter. Armin met her eyes, the small smile fading quickly when he saw the anger beneath her. Clara rolled her eyes, dropping her spoon in her half-eaten bowl of food.

“We should go. Training’s about to start.”

It was then when Sasha ran into the canteen.

|***|

“Dedicate your hearts!”

Clara saluted slowly, almost as if she was bored. She stood in the front line, in between Mikasa and Reiner (who kept sneaking glances at the now twenty-year-old) to mark her rank. She tuned out the commander, who was going over each branch and introducing the top ten. Her eyes flickered to Eren, who had a determined look on his face. His dream since childhood was to join the Survey Corps. She then turned her head back forward, looking at Mikasa through her peripheral vision. Mikasa would follow Eren to the ends of the Earth, as would Armin. The three kids she had known since their birth would be joining the Scouts. Clara had made her decision. 

The commander soon dismissed the cadets, congratulating them on their graduation. Relief filled her body as the boredom was beginning to set it. She set off to find Elias to head to the canteen when she was suddenly stopped. 

“Richter!” A shout came from behind her. Clara turned to see Shadis making his way towards the girl.

Clara sighed, saluting him in almost a mocking way. “Shadis.”

He stopped before her, giving her a disgruntled look. She dropped her salute, cocking her eyebrow. 

“Have you decided on where you’re going after this?” 

Clara rolled her eyes. He had been trying to get her to join the Scouts ever since they began training two years ago by attempting to mold her into the perfect soldier. It wasn’t hard to see how strong her potential was; he knew that the Scouts needed her skill. 

“Why?” 

Shadis looked at her harshly. “You have an incredible amount of potential. You could help secure us and rid us of those ugly bastards. Don’t let it go to waste.”

He walked off, leaving Clara standing almost dumbfounded. Shadis had never been a big fan of her, always punishing her for _“disrespecting her peers and her superiors.”_ So when he told her that he thought she had potential, it shocked the girl. 

“Clara!” Elias ran up to her. “What did he want?” 

“Trying to convince me to join the Scouts.”

“Well?” Elias pushed. “Are you?” 

Clara began walking towards the canteen, hunger beginning to take over. “I don’t know yet.” 

Elias rolled his eyes, walking in pace with her. “You know you want to.”

“Do I?” Clara scoffed. 

“For Stella.” 

She stopped. Her shoulders began shaking, only seeing red. Elias knew he would get a response out of her by mentioning her sister.

“They took everything from you, from us,” he started. “Don’t you want to get revenge? Avenge your family?”

“Enough.” Her head was facing the ground, a couple of her fellow cadets nearly running away as they saw the state she was in. Her inner debate had ended. For years, she had wanted revenge on those who took everything away from her. Hearing Elias speak her thoughts aloud made her decision easy. Her head slowly lifted up, her eyes darkening as she glared at Elias with animosity.

Elias smirked, slinging an arm around the enraged girl. “Come on, Richter. Let’s go get some food.”

They kept getting stares as they walked towards the canteen. Nobody made direct eye contact with Clara, afraid of the repercussions. By the time they arrived at the canteen, most of the tables had been taken, leaving only two spots at the table the trio were sitting at. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Clara spat out, grabbing her tray of food and making her way towards the empty seat, Elias quick behind her.

Looks of shock were sent her way as she nearly slammed her tray onto the table across from Eren, not looking at the boy who sat dumbfounded. The last time Clara had spoken to him was a year ago when he challenged her to a fight (which she had won in under a minute). Armin was rigid beside Clara, pausing mid-bite with his eyes wide. Mikasa looked stoic as always, but behind her eyes was bewilderment. 

Clara began eating as Elias sat beside her, giving the trio an apologetic look. The atmosphere slowly returned to normal, celebratory cheers sounding throughout the cafeteria. 

This was all a waste of time for Clara. She didn’t want to be here in the first place. Hearing the rest of the regiment celebrate their graduation almost disgusted Clara. Celebrating the loss of their innocence and the start of their downfall is the way Clara saw it, whether the rest of the regiment saw it or not. 

“So, Richter,” Jean spoke from the table behind her. “Have you decided what branch you’re joining?” 

Eren looked at her, eyes wide with eagerness. 

Clara sat her fork down and turned around to face Jean, a blank look on her face as she answered the question for the _third fucking time._ “Let’s see. Do I want to serve a corrupt government, sit on my ass drunk all day, or go out into Titan territory where I have a high chance of being slaughtered? Tough decision.”

“Come on, Clara!” Eren said, causing her to look up at him. She hadn’t expected him to actually speak to her. “You’re the second best in our class! You could help bring the destruction of the Titan’s and avenge your sister!” 

Clara glared at Eren, who slowly sat back down, realizing his mistake, his jade eyes widening with regret and slight fear. 

“Eren…” Armin trailed off. The Jaeger boy began to open his mouth to apologize, but shut it quickly when she glowered at him. By now most people were up and socializing, giving Clara the opportunity to leave the table before he had the chance. She shoved herself away from the table to get a drink, desperate for _something_ to ease her annoyance. 

Clara walked away from the rest of the 104th, settling near a corner on the opposite end of the room, quickly gulping down her drink. She saw the trio glance over at her but made no effort to do anything. 

“You could be a little nicer to them,” Elias said.

“I don’t do anything to them. That seems nice enough.”

“Eren looked like he was on the brink of tears when you got up.”

Clara sighed. “That’s not my problem.”

“Yeah, well,” Elias scoffed. “Out of everyone here, that kid can empathize with you the most.”

She looked back over at Eren, seeing him converse with some cadets, then glanced down to her half-empty drink, her fingers circling the top of it. He had a point, and Clara knew that, but she chose to ignore it. Clara did intend to join the Survey Corps, she made the final decision earlier. Maybe she always intended to join the Survey Corps. Clara dwelled on this; when joining the Cadet Corps, she didn’t have a set goal in mind. She had joined simply because Elias didn’t want to go alone, and she owed it to him to go along. As the training continued, she would never admit it but she began to actually enjoy the fight. Adrenaline would pump through her every time she used ODM, flying through the trees and landing kill after kill brought Clara a sense of satisfaction she had never felt. Nothing felt more like freedom than that.

The room suddenly fell quiet. Clara had tuned out the conversation earlier but now looked up to see what was happening. She wasn’t surprised to see eyes on Eren, who somehow always manages to make himself the center of attention. Clara rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall behind her, waiting to see how this plays out as Eren began giving one of his infamous speeches on how he’ll be the one to exterminate the Titan’s.

Clara doubted it. 

“Riveting speech, Jaeger.” She called out, all eyes staring at her in disbelief. “Too bad you’re only one person.”

|***|

“Clara, look!”

“Walls, Elias, you’re hurting me! I see them!”

Elias had dragged Clara to see the Scouts off. She hadn’t been to a Survey Corps sendoff in five years, not since Stella, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa dragged her to see them. She secretly enjoyed watching them, not that she’d ever admit it.

“Look, Clara!” Elias pointed at the leader. “It’s Commander Erwin Smith!”

“I know who he is,” Clara rolled her eyes. 

“Look, it’s-”

“Captain Levi, I know.” She yanked Elias’ arm down hard. He had been pointing at the Captain excitedly, no doubt bringing unwanted attention towards them. 

“They say he’s as strong as an entire brigade!” Elias said. Levi glanced down at the two as he was passing by. He wasn’t paying attention to the people, having been used to the unwavering attention by now, but as he was passing he heard something that piqued his interest slightly. 

“I bet you could beat him, though!” 

“He’s Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, so I doubt it.”

“Yeah, but you’re _Humanity’s Rage!_ When you get into it, you’re unstoppable.” 

Levi had heard rumors about Humanity’s Rage. Erwin had briefly mentioned a cadet who held the reputation of being merciless and had been dubbed the title. The commander of the Cadet Corps spoke highly of the girl to Erwin, who then told Levi about it. Some went as far as comparing the two. He would never say it, but Levi was intrigued at how good this girl could be. Nonetheless, he tsked at the thought of her being able to beat him. 

“I bet she could!” Hange came up next to Levi. “You’ve heard the rumors!”

“Shut up, four-eyes.” Levi moved away from the scientist. 

“Admit it, you’re curious.”

“In a brat who has anger management problems?” Levi asked, causing Hange to roll her eyes. 

“You can’t talk about anger management issues, Shorty.”

Levi chose not to respond, instead moving further away from Hange. 

“At any rate,” Hange came up besides him again. 

“Do you ever stop?” Levi muttered.

“I hope she joins the Scouts! We could use her strength!” 

Levi quietly agreed. Their numbers had been decreasing recently, with Erwin conducting more missions outside of the walls, leading hundreds to their deaths. Having more soldiers who showed promise and could be of use to the branch would be a relief. Recruit numbers had been steadily going down over the years, and the Scouts were starting to see their regiment grow smaller and smaller with each expedition they go on. Levi couldn't blame people for not wanting to join, thought. After all, it was basically a death sentence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! i'm still pretty new to writing fanfic-- i'm trying my best to make my stories enjoyable! the first few chapters are going to be pretty plot heavily, just to secure clara's role in the aot universe, but things will start to expand beyond the plot we all know and love! anyways, again, hope you liked it!


	3. bad landings

The view from atop the wall was a sight Clara had grown to appreciate over the years. Miles upon miles of land stretched out in front of her; the serenity the empty fields held was a welcomed difference from the bustling of Trost below her. If there was one thing she was grateful towards the military for, it was being able to see beyond the Walls.

Clara was assigned to help clean the cannons that day, along with most of the 104th. It was an easy enough task, Clara decided, especially with the view. Elias was down below, patrolling certain areas, leaving Clara stuck with Eren. Unfortunately for her, everywhere she turned, he was there. She quietly cursed whoever assigned her to do this. Someone was out to get her, Clara concluded. 

"Clara!" 

She elected to ignore Sasha, her attention remaining on the grimy cannon in front of her. 

"Hey, Richter!" Sasha bounced next to her, whispering. "I stole some meat. The rest of us are going to have some during lunch."

Clara shoved Sasha away from her, having invaded her personal space. "I don't care."

"Don't you want some?"

"Not particularly," Clara muttered. "What I'd really like is for you to leave me alone." 

Sasha pouted. "You're so mean to me."

Clara rolled her eyes, moving back towards the cannon. Sasha had begun to walk away, shouting something at Connie, when it suddenly went still as lightning cracked throughout the sky. The same feeling from five years ago crept up in Clara's stomach. Her eyes widened as the sun was blocked, a large shadow casting itself over the city, shielding the city in darkness. Her head turned slowly, the cleaning brush still in her hands as her stomach was doing somersaults. The Colossal Titan stood towering over the wall, looking the same as it did five years ago. 

Nothing had changed. The fear didn't change, the anguish didn't change, the anger didn't change. 

Clara's mind went blank, staring at the Colossal Titan. She inhaled softly, repeatedly, as she dropped the brush, hands automatically grasping her swords. She could've sworn she heard her name being called, but her mind didn't register it as her body moved on its own accord. The 60-meter Titan blew out steam as Clara was about to start fighting. The air was hot and strong, blowing back the cadets who remained on the wall. Clara's mind began working again as her hands quickly reacted, using her ODM gear to latch onto the side of the wall. Below her, a cadet fell causing Sasha's reflexes kicking in to go and save him. Eren was to her right and held a sense of eagerness, seeing this as an opportunity to avenge his mother. 

Clara looked down at her comrades; Eren's gaze was focused on the bottom of the wall, his eyes shaking. Following his eye trail, Clara stilled rigidly. Wall Rose had been breached, just like in Shiganshina. 

_"Clara!"_

She aggressively shook her head, trying to shake out the screaming. 

"Fixed cannon maintenance team 4!" Eren shouted. "Prepare for combat!"

Clara's eyes darkened as she watched the Titan that was looming above them. For once, she had followed what Eren said. 

The ODM hooks were released; Clara pushed herself away, giving her more room to work with. Hooking near the top of the wall, she swung sideways as to get a better angle of the Colossal Titan. Now above the Titan, she began her descent. A long arm slowly swatted at the fixed cannons when Clara was falling towards it, destroying the weapons. Strategically maneuvering around the lanky appendage, she made quick and short spins around it, slicing as much skin she could, causing Titan blood to scatter across her face. Clara spun around to the back of the the titan, eyes blazing with hatred as she looked for an opening to strike. Eren was close behind her, advancing on his opposite arm. As Eren made his way next to Clara, she scanned their surroundings. She could see steam slowly emitting from the Titan. Eren, who was too eager to get this kill, started towards the nape.

"Jaeger!" Clara yelled, moving down towards him. Steam began to come out more harshly. 

Clara grabbed Eren, yanking him away from the Titan. Eren was still hooked onto the neck, the two not being able to move. 

"Let go!" Clara shouted at him, but he instead propelled forward, tearing himself out of Clara's hold. 

The twenty-year-old flew backward, flipping through the air. The atmosphere was quiet again; the steam began clearing as the Colossal titan was nowhere to be seen. Clara latched herself onto the wall, head darting around in confusion as she looked at Eren.

"Where the hell did it go?" Clara asked.

Eren didn't respond. A Cadet from atop the wall called to them. Clara flew up, stumbling a bit as she landed. Eren landed next to her, but before he could say anything, Clara grabbed his neck, pulling him closer towards her.

"You could've killed me," she seethed. 

"I had a chance to t-take him o-out!" Eren choked out. Despite being two inches shorter than Eren, Clara was still stronger.

"And how did that work out?" She let go of his neck harshly, pushing him backward. Eren started coughing.

"I'm sorry." He managed out. "I let him getaway." 

Clara chuckled bitterly, going to say something, but Connie cut in at the last second.

"Hey!" Connie stepped between them. "This isn't the time to argue! The Wall has been breached! If we don't seal it, the Titan's will get in like before!" 

"What're you doing?" A soldier popped up, landing on the Wall. Eren, Connie, and the other cadet fell into a strict salute; Clara lazily put her fist up to her heart. 

"The contingency plan for the Colossal Titan has already started! Get to HQ, and if you made contact with it, make sure to report it!" 

Clara dropped her salute and dropped from the Wall, making her way towards HQ. Clara tried to shake out her anger at Eren as the wind hit her cheeks. She swung past buildings, flying up and free falling. This is the part she enjoyed; her hair spreading out around her, the adrenaline coursing through her as she came closer towards a building before launching off again. As she was approaching HQ, her eyes landed on Elias below her, making his way into the building. A small grin coated her face, an idea popping into her head. 

"Shit!" He jumped back as Clara landed in front of him. "What the hell Clara?!"

She smirked at him, proud of herself. "Do you know what the plan is yet?"

He glared at her, trying to stabilize his breathing. "No. I just got here."

Clara hummed, shoving past other cadets to get into the building to refuel her ODM gear. The city bell rang throughout Trost, the citizens crowding around the evacuation area. Loud booms from the remaining wall cannons drowned out the noise. The cadets gathered in a room to prepare their gear. Since she had used some of her gas already, Clara made a bee-line towards the refueling station, rolling her eyes when she saw the trio already there. She settled next to Armin, who couldn't stop shaking. Cadets were rushing around them frantically but Clara kept her composure. It was almost like she thrived on the chaos of battle. 

"Are you okay Armin?" Eren asked. Clara glanced over at the two, seeing how Armin's face had a look of horror on it as his hands fumbled with his gear. 

"I-I'm okay!" He managed out.

Clara rolled her eyes, muttering. "Doesn't seem like it." 

Whether he chose to ignore her or he just didn't hear her, Armin didn't respond. Clara stood up from her spot, making her way back towards Elias. 

"This should be fun," she said, leaning up against a pillar. 

"You're insane." 

Clara shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe."

"You should be taking this seriously," Elias sighed. "It's only a matter of time before the Titan's get through the hole."

"I am taking this seriously. But things are different now."

"How?" Elias turned towards her. 

She smirked at him again, not responding, but he knew what she was getting at.

Things were different with Clara now. 

|***| 

"Trainee Ackerman! Trainee Richter!" 

Clara furrowed her eyebrows at Elias who shrugged his shoulders. They had been dismissed by now, gearing up to enter the city. She made her way over to the captain, Mikasa following.

"You two are being moved to the rearguard. Follow me."

"But I'll only slow you down!" Mikasa argued.

A lie. Clara knew she just wanted to be close to Eren.

"I'm not asking for your opinion. We need skilled soldiers to watch over the civilians." 

Clara sighed. "Give it up, Ackerman. This isn't about you or Jaeger."

She began following the captain, not looking to see if Mikasa was behind her. Elias ran up to her, eyes frantic. 

"Are you being moved to the rearguard?" 

"Apparently."

"Hey," Elias grabbed her shoulder, stopping both of them. "Be careful."

Clara rolled her eyes, patting Elias' head. "Worry about yourself, Werner. I'll see you once this is done." 

Clara couldn't die here; her resolve wouldn't let her. Deep within her was a storm brewing that threatened to engulf her. Crashing waves, harsh thunder, her vengeance. She was nothing if she couldn't avenge Stella. This drive was the only thing keeping her alive.

Falling in line with the rest of the rearguard, Clara felt Mikasa's presence next to her. It was a little awkward, the younger girl shifting her feet, eyes darting from the ground to Clara.

"What is it, Mikasa?" Clara said exasperatedly.

Mikasa's head shot up, a light blush coating her cheeks. "N-nothing. It's just..." 

"It's just what?" 

"I haven't talked to you in a long time..." Mikasa trailed off again as they moved forward, ready to get in position.

"Yeah, well... things change." Clara rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. She commended Mikasa on her effort, but _walls_ did she not want to have this conversation right now. 

"Are you joining the Scouts?" Mikasa asked. "I think Eren and Armin would be happy if you did."

"This isn't the time for that conversation."

"Are you?" Mikasa pushed, getting closer to the Richter girl.

"Would you be happy if I did?"

Mikasa paused, mulling the thought over. "I think so."

Clara inwardly groaned, rubbing her neck again. Five years it took for her to be able to distance herself from them without it hurting. Five years since she lost her sister, and they lost a friend. Five years of pushing them away, pushing her feelings away and becoming what she is today. 

"I'll let you know if we survive this," was her answer.

The two girls made their way into Trost, trying their best to control the mass panic of the citizens. Clara, not much one for calming people down, had no idea why she was sent to the rear guard. She watched as her comrades took to the sky, striking down the titans that had made their way into the city. A dull thud became louder and louder as Clara turned the corner, breaking away from Mikasa, looking for more citizens. A 10-meter titan was in front of her, shoving its hard through a building.

Clara's legs began to move but stopped momentarily when the titan began running towards her. Realizing that it was an abnormal, she got into a position to start charging at it, but paused, an idea popping in her head. Instead of running towards it, she sprinted back the way she came. She anchored herself onto one of the buildings, swinging up to the roof to get more height. The titan looked up at the noise of her wires, reaching up to grab Clara, who was just out of its reach. As she landed on a nearby structure, the titan's hand swung down, sending Clara back. 

"Shit!" She yelled as she latched herself onto another building. She could feel blood trickle down her cheek . 

The titan wouldn't let up, running towards her again. Clara pushed herself off of the building, latching her hooks onto the titan. Swinging from side to side, Clara managed to slice off the titan's arms, avoiding hit after hit. She flung herself into the air, moving to the back of its neck. Pulling forward, she gripped her swords tight and plunged them into its nape, the hot blood splattering onto Clara's face and uniform before dissolving. Clara almost crashed onto the pavement next to the titan, rolling away as she missed her landing. 

"Shadis was right," she grumbled, cursing her old Commander. "I need to work on my landings."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of the prewritten chapters i have, so updates might be a little slow!! i am a college student and i have a job, so that takes up most of my time. but i hope you enjoyed!


	4. rich pigs and bloodied desks

In all honesty, killing titans was fun to Clara. 

Getting able to swing through the air, fighting for your life, having no time to think and running on pure adrenaline was becoming an addiction to Clara, which was why she had broken away from the rearguard. As she landed again, slightly stumbling, she noticed the amount of citizens still trying to make it out of Trost. Clara sighed, rolling her eyes as she slowly made her way to the crowd. A large wagon was blocking the evacuation route, a man in the front arguing with the owner of the wagon. Clara stopped in her tracks, noticing the rumbling coming from behind her. She turned around, a man walking in the middle of the street, when suddenly, an abnormal titan turned the corner, sprinting towards the crowd of people. 

Clara acted fast, almost automatically. She hooked herself onto a building, running up the side of it and then launched herself up in the air, putting herself above the titan. As she was falling, she saw a group of soldiers trying to chase after the Abnormal. Ignoring them, she swung around to the back of the titan before latching onto its neck. Clara pulled herself close to the nape and dug her blades deep into its nape, the hot blood splattering around her. Clara balanced herself on its head to help soften her landing impact, knowing that she’d fumble in front of the crowd. If Clara hated anything more than the titans, it was embarrassing herself.

The crowd had paused to look at her, falling silent. Clara narrowed her eyes at the wagon still blocking the exit.

“Hey,” she called out, waving her swords at the man who was trying to push his wagon through. “What are you doing?”

“You! Perfect! Make them help us get this through! We'll even pay you!”

Clara stood in disbelief. She gripped her swords tighter before jumping off of the titan.

“Right now, people are dying to save you. Because of people like you, who’s blocking the way, people I care about are fighting and dying at the hands of the titans.”

The crowd had separated as Clara slowly made her way through it, her eyes dark. “It's your job to sacrifice yourselves for the good of humanity and for our fortunes! You all think you’re so special now that you’re being useful, for once.”

Clara stopped, a few feet away from the man. Her knuckles were white as her glare shifted up towards the man, who noticeably stepped back at the sight of her anger.

“I’m sure you’ll understand when I say that sometimes the death of a few is justified if it saves the lives of the many.”

She saw two men step up in a fighting stance, ready to protect their boss. Clara advanced towards them.

“Try it! I know your boss and I can ruin your career with one word!”

Clara rolled her eyes, chuckling as the two men started running towards her. She stepped to the left, hoisting the first man up and over her shoulder, causing him to land hard on his back and knocking the wind out of him. Before the other man had a chance to react, she dropped one of her swords and twisted the man's arm around his back, a loud crack sounding throughout the area. As he began screaming, Clara kicked in the back of his knee and then picked up her sword, elbowing him hard enough to knock him unconscious.

Her focus returned to the boss. He audibly gulped, not having expected her to take the two of them out.

“Tell me… how is a dead body going to speak?” She lifted her sword up, stopping it just before his neck. He gasped, trying to avoid the blade. Clara clicked her tongue and smirked as she slightly nicked his skin as she turned her weapon to the side, making him freeze in his spot as blood slowly began to trickle down his neck.

“Do you think I care about how much money you have?” She asked rhetorically. “How many people do you think died because of you? Because you care more about money than the lives of others? It's rich, selfish pigs like you that puts us in real danger.”

Clara stepped closer to him, making him flinch back. She saw a few men begin to sweat as she put more pressure onto his neck. She leaned in closely, her voice dropping. “Either move the _fucking_ wagon, or die.”

Once the wagon began moving back out of the tunnel, Clara turned away and wiped away the small amount of blood left on her sword. She shook her hair out as she began making her way back to the fight, itching to do something.

“Thank you!”

Clara turned back, eyebrows raised high in shock at the sight before her.

A young girl and her mother stood before Clara, thanking her for saving them. Clara’s body began to tremble slightly. The girl had reminded her of Stella as she smiled at her again. Clara could’ve sworn she heard her name being screeched from somewhere in the city.

Instead of responding, Clara sheathed her blade and saluted awkwardly. She didn’t know why she had done that; it wasn’t like she respected the military or anything, but in the moment, it felt like the right way to respond. 

The young girl beamed at Clara as her mom ushered her to safety, leaving Clara standing there, stunned as rain began pouring onto her.

|***|

“Richter!” 

Clara jumped a little in surprise, looking up. She had only come across one titan that was near her, and despite wanting to, she didn’t go out of her way to find titans as she was trying to conserve her gas in case there was an order to retreat. Jean was standing on top of a building with the others, trying to wave her over. Elias was there as well and turned his attention to Clara, who still hadn’t moved.

“Clara, come here!” Elias demanded. Clara furrowed her eyebrows, noticing the slight panic in his voice.

Clara propelled up, stumbling as she landed next to Jean, who quickly reached out to stabilize her. Shoving herself away from him, she turned and glared at the boy who held his hands up in mock defense. Elias made his way towards her, palms clammy and hair disheveled. 

Slight sniffling caught Clara’s attention, turning away from the two boys to the one who was huddled into himself, leaning on a window. Clara quirked her eyebrow, turning back to Elias and gesturing to the mess that Armin currently was.

“What’s wrong with him?” 

Elias shifted on his feet awkwardly, the others growing tense as Armin’s sniffling increased. 

“The cowards at the supply base locked themselves in,” Jean grumbled. “They called for a retreat, but most of us are almost out of gas and we can’t refuel.”

Clara mentally patted herself on the back for conserving her fuel. She turned to HQ which was being ambushed by titans, leaving the supply team no chance to make it out. “So Armin is having a breakdown over being out of gas?” 

“Uh, no.. not really,” Elias muttered, eye shifty. Clara rolled her eyes at the lack of an answer and marched towards the boy, who was shaking slightly.

“Hey,” she nudged him with her foot. “What’s wrong?”

Armin snapped his head up. His cheeks were splotchy, his eyes were bloodshot, and tears stained his face. His lip quivered slightly as he looked up at Clara. She sighed. Clara thought back to Elias' shifty behavior and the lack of a certain suicidal maniac.

She sat next to Armin, shocking everyone. “You have to snap out of it.”

“B-but E-Eren is d-de--”

“I know.” Clara cut his fumbling off. “And I know I'm not the one who should be telling you to snap out of it, but if you stay here and keep crying, you’ll die, too. I don’t think Eren would want you to leave Mikasa by herself.” 

Mikasa stood to the side, her typical stoicism breaking slowly as she looked at Armin and Clara. The boy who saved her, her best friend, her sole reason for surviving was dead. 

“We need a way to get more gas,” Clara called from her spot. 

“The supply building is being overrun by titans!” Connie said, discouraged.

“No shit,” Clara mumbled, trying to think of a way to get into the building. “Elias!”

He turned towards her. “How much gas do you have left?”

“Maybe enough to get there, but not enough to fight and get back.”

Clara nodded her head as the rest of them checked their tanks, having a similar amount. “Alright.” Clara stood, forcing Armin up with her. He stumbled as Clara gently pushed him towards Mikasa, his eyes still dazed. 

“I still have maybe half of my gas left,” she started as they crowded around her. “So here’s what we’re going to do.”

Clara began explaining her plan. Since Clara and Mikasa had the most gas left, they were going to lead them towards the supply base. The two girls would only kill the titans that were an immediate threat- abnormals and ones over 10 meters until they reached HQ. The rest of the surviving soldiers would dodge the titans to conserve gas while Clara and Mikasa would form a path for them. 

“What happens if you run out of gas before we get to the building?” Elias asked, concern lacing his voice. 

“I wasn’t planning on running out,” In truth, she hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Clara.” Elias stepped forward, a hard look in his eyes.

She glared at him. “I’ll think of something if that happens.”

They continued to stare at each other, neither of them backing down until Reiner awkwardly cleared his throat. Elias looked away first, knowing that he wouldn't win against her.

“There’s no way you two can do it by yourselves,” Marco stated. “There’s too many of them.”

She straightened her back, turning back towards Marco. Her left eye was twitching at his lack of faith, the grip on her swords tightening, causing her knuckles to turn white.

“Not to be cocky or anything, but out of everyone here, Mikasa and I are the strongest. We can defeat these titans. Now you can stay here, pissing your pants like a baby and be remembered as a coward. Or you can fight with us. The choice is yours.”

Clara positioned herself to start moving, looking back with a glint in her eyes.

“And besides, I’m _Humanity’s Rage_ ,” she said mockingly. “What could go wrong?”

|***|

Turns out, a lot of things could go wrong.

For starters, Mikasa had run out of gas fast. Honestly, Clara should have seen that coming; Mikasa was fighting too hard and too fast for the amount of gas she had left. They were maybe two minutes into their plan and she fell from the sky, landing on a building. Armin had been quick to go after her, Connie and Jean as well, but Clara managed to hold Jean back as they landed on another roof. Clara was contemplating following the two; she knew she couldn’t take out the rest of the titan’s on her own, not with her limited gas, so splitting what little she had with Mikasa was their best bet at least taking down more titans and giving the others a chance at making it into HQ. Worse comes to worse, Mikasa and Clara will have to avoid making contact with any titans while the others get the supplies needed.

Clara turned to Jean. “Can you take over for me?”

“What?” He asked, bewildered.

“I can’t take down all of them without Mikasa,” Clara explained. “I’m going to check on her and split my gas.”

“But-”

“Do you have a better plan?”

Jean paused. He didn’t, he knew that, and he knew she knew that. Clara clapped him on the shoulder, wishing him luck, before taking off again. It might come as a shock to others, but out of all the cadets, Jean was probably her favorite. She thought he was one of the more realistic cadets, often sharing her pessimistic takes. Which was why she left him in charge, knowing that they share the same basic understanding of how to advance in combat. And she thought it was funny how he and Eren always got into fights.

Clara found Mikasa with relative ease. She marched up to the girl, grabbed her neck, and shoved her against the wall. 

“What the _fuck_ were you thinking?” 

Mikasa tried pushing Clara off of her but her grip was like iron. 

“Not only were you being reckless with your own life, but you were putting the rest of us at risk!”

“I’m sorry,” Mikasa choked out.

“Look, I get you're sad about Eren, but now is not the time to start mourning. We still have a job to do.”

They stared at each until Mikasa eventually nodded her head. Clara sighed and let go of her neck.

“Eren wouldn't want you to be so careless. Live and fight for him.”

Clara began unscrewing her gas, ready to split it with Mikasa when the ground around them began rumbling.

“You’ve got to me kidding me,” Clara quickly screwed her gas back in, going to stand in front of Mikasa. From behind them, a 15-meter titan appeared.

Clara didn't like the feeling this titan gave off as it stared at an oncoming titan. It was breathing heavily-- Clara could just barely smell it's hot breath, nearly making her wretch. The 15-meter let out a roar, one that almost ruptured Mikasa and Clara’s ear drums. Before the two girls had time to react, the 15-meter began running towards the other titan, narrowly missing them as Clara pushed Mikasa against the wall, trying to stay as far out of the titans way as possible. 

What shocked Clara the most was the titan punched the other one with so much force, she was convinced it's head would come off. The titan continuously stomped on the now _very dead_ titan, blood spraying up and disappearing, savage growls coming from its throat. 

“Mikasa! Clara!” 

Armin swung down, grabbing Mikasa. Clara snapped out of her state of surprise and followed Armin, landing on a nearby roof that was out of the way. Connie was close behind them, landing next to Clara.

“Are you two hurt?”

Clara shook her head, her eyes still focused on the titan who had saved the girls. It continued to make loud growls, attracting the attention of Armin and Connie.

“We need to move!” Connie rushed. 

The 15-meter titan walked in front of them, squaring off with one of similar height.

“Shit! Two 15-meter ones!”

“Wait.” Clara said.

“That titan…” Mikasa trailed off. The four gasped when it got into a fighting stance.

The titan charged, but the punch that was sent decapitated it. Clara was wide eyed— she didn't know if it was from fear or morbid curiosity. 

“It has no interest in us,” Armin said.

“Either way, we need to move!” 

“Wait!” Armin said. “Mikasa's out of gas!”

Clara silently began unscrewing her gas to split. She pulled out a canister, handing it to Mikasa.

“No, here!” Armin pushed her hand back, earning a glare from the twenty year old. “Both of you need to have gas. I’ll give Mikasa my remaining gas. It's no use for me to have it.”

Clara rolled her eyes, putting her canister back as Armin began attaching his to Mikasa’s gear.

“Don't waste it all this time. Use it to help Clara protect everybody.”

That seemed to wake Mikasa up, making her realize her mistake from the first time. “I will.”

“Do you guys think we could get that titan to help us?”

The three looked at Clara in bewilderment-- her gaze was focused on the abnormal titan that seemed to have no interest in them as it continued taking down other titans.

“You want us to use that thing?” Connie asked.

“I mean, think about it,” Clara started, turning back towards them. “A titan that kills other titans. It would help us with the HQ problem.”

“There’s no way that would work.”

“You don’t know that,” Clara bit back. “If we can get it to follow us to HQ, we can have it take down the remaining titans. We would conserve more gas that way.” 

“She has a point,” Armin muttered. “But isn’t it too risky?”

“Arlert,” Clara deadpanned. “We’re currently fighting titans that want to eat us. We're going to be risking our lives everyday in the Survey Corps. Might as well get used to making difficult decisions.”

“I say we try it,” Mikasa said. “Clara’s right. It would save us time and gas.” 

“Great, now that that’s settled, all we need is to get its attention.”

“Wait!” Connie exclaimed. “I didn’t agree to this!”

“Do you have a better plan?” 

"...no.”

“Then stop wasting my time,” Clara muttered.

Clara was good at strategy. She was good at tactics. She was good at fighting. What she wasn’t good at was landing. So when they all finally agreed to her plan of luring the weird-ass titan to HQ, Clara forgot to take into account how they would enter the building. She saw Jean ram into a window, shattering it. She pushed herself forward, following through the window, but some sadistic being loved watch Clara suffer. She rolled her ankle as she attempted to land and barreled through the room. Her momentum was too strong to stop; Clara rolled into one of the tables, slamming her head on the edge of it. She could feel the blood trickle down her forehead, her name being called out by multiple people before her surroundings faded away.

Desk: 1. Clara: 0. So much for being the unstoppable cadet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh this chapter was so fucking annoying to write lmao but things are gonna start getting inch resting. levi will be making an appearance whew boy get ready for an onslaught of angst and bitterness. n e ways hopefully i can get the next chapter out soon!!


	5. to be a klutz

Violence, to Clara six years ago, was never the answer. The fourteen year old was a staunch believer in maintaining peace through words, a sentiment she hoped to pass down to her little sister. The world was cruel enough as is, and she didn’t want Stella to fall into the same trap she was witnessing Eren give into. It’s not like Eren was a bad kid he was just… a little too reckless. He was lucky he had Armin to balance out his rebellious tendencies with logic, Mikasa to bluntly reason with him, and Stella to reinforce the innocent reminder to _just be kind._ But he was stubborn, and everyone knew that. Clara saw herself in a part of him-- he never wanted to back down and always stood for what he believed in, even if it was foolish. But with the harsh state of the world they lived in, Clara made it her duty to protect Stella and her friends to the best of her ability, not wanting to see their innocence get ruined at such a young age.

Clara was concerned about the four of them. She was afraid that one of these days, Eren would pick a fight that he simply couldn’t win and drag Stella into the middle of it. Sighing, Clara finished picking up the items her mother had sent her out to get and began trailing back to her small home. People bustled around her, the city bell ringing as the gate opened. Clara had no doubt that Eren dragged his friends to welcome back the Scouts. His blind admiration of the soldiers worried Clara, a feeling shared by his mother and Mikasa. For a fourteen year old, she found herself worrying a lot.

They began trailing back inside the city, the crowd murmuring as they began moving through the streets. Clara paused, looking at the soldiers, an emptiness shared between them. Another bad one, she thought, shaking her head. The atmosphere shifted, though, once a specific soldier was spotted. 

“It’s Captain Levi!” 

Her eyebrows furrowed, looking up at the stoic captain who seemed to hold nothing but a blank stare. Word of him spread quickly as he became the most powerful soldier in a short amount of time. Clara stood on her tiptoes, trying to get a better look at the captain. He was staring ahead, ignoring the calls of admiration thrown his way.

_“Humanity's Strongest!”_

_“A man worth a thousand soldiers!”_

_“The greatest there ever was!”_

The captain's record was impressive, Clara had to admit. In just under a year, he had become a household name. He already held the record for the most titan kills and shot through the Survey Corps ranks in an insane amount of time. Clara was just about to walk away, but she quickly scanned the people around her, eyes looking for...

Clara spotted Elias in the front. She grinned and shoved through the crowd, going to stand next to her best friend.

“Boo!”

Elias jumped, accidentally hitting the man next to him, who shot a glare at the two. Clara bit back a grin as Elias flicked her forehead.

“You’re such an ass!”

Clara pouted. “That’s not nice.”

He rolled his eyes at her childlike behavior, turning back to the Scouts. She noticed as he started bubbling with excitement as the aforementioned captain came closer. Elias pulled Clara closer to him, raising up his arm. 

“Look, Clara!” He pointed at Levi. “It’s Humanity's Strongest Soldier!”

Clara finally saw the man up close. He was quite young, Clara noticed. Almost too young to be a captain. Her heart sank as she scanned his face. Just like before, he held no emotion. Not an ounce of anything. 

“He has a name.”

“I’m aware,” he rolled his eyes.

“I kinda feel bad for them.” Clara yanked his arm down, not wanting the captain to feel uncomfortable at the off chance he actually looked at them.

“Why? They’re the strongest people within the walls!”

“Elias, don’t be naive. They face an insurmountable amount of violence every time they leave the walls. I can’t imagine how scarred they are.”

“They’re the ones who signed up for it!” The man who Elias had accidentally hit barked at her. “They use our tax money just to get killed!”

“That’s not what they do!” Elias shot at him, eyes hardening. “They’re the ones who protect us from the Titans! Just because you’re too ignorant to understand that doesn’t mean the rest of us are!”

“Elias.” Clara said sternly. She turned to the man, not noticing how they managed to gain attention in the crowd. 

“I’m not a fan of the violence they endure,” Clara started. She sighed, trying to choose her words carefully. “But they risk their lives everyday doing something most of us will never have the courage to do. I know I could never go out there and slaughter titans, and from the looks of it, you don’t have that strength either! I don’t idolize them, and we shouldn’t idolize them, but at least _show them some respect._ ” 

Clara, six years ago, wore her heart on her sleeve-- she showed the world exactly who she was and wasn’t afraid to show it her emotions. She would proudly tell everyone what she wanted to say and was unapologetic about it. Whether it was joy, anger, sadness, fear, or confusion, Clara was unabashedly herself and wanted everyone to know. But Clara now, aged twenty… 

***

Several loud bangs sounded throughout HQ, gunshots sounding and causing Clara to groggily wake up. Her head pounded; reaching a hand to it, she felt a makeshift bandage wrapped around it. God fucking dammit. 

“You’re awake!” 

Clara shut her eyes and groaned, holding her hand out to impede the incoming Elias.

“Where am I?” Clara tried looking around, but black dots covered her vision. 

“The HQ building. We dragged you to a spot that wasn’t infested with titans. You were knocked out after ramming into a desk.”

Clara remembered that, unfortunately. “Where is everyone else?”

As if on cue, there was another bang from below them, the building shaking slightly. 

“They’re in the supply room, doing what these cowards here couldn’t.” He motioned towards a few cowering soldiers, whose faces were pale and looked like they were about to vomit. 

Clara slowly stood, Elias helping her as she balanced. She was slowly regaining her barrings, her vision going back to normal as she forced her eyes to focus on her surroundings. A dark room, no windows, one door. It was like a closet of sorts, with random cleaning supplies and uniforms stored. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“To help them…?” 

“You have a concussion,” Elias led her away from the door. “If you go out there, you’re more likely to get yourself killed.”

“I’m not going to sit in a fucking closet being _useless,_ ” she spat the last part out, aiming it towards the guilt-ridden soldiers who trembled away from her. She pulled herself out of Elias’ grasp and opened the door carefully, checking for any titans and made her way to where she could hear shouting.

Elias jogged up next to her, trying to pry her away from the stairs that led to the supply room. “Clara, there are titans down there. If they come at you--”

“I’ll kill them,” Clara said.

“You’re in no shape to do that!”

“I’m fine.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

Clara glared at him. “Three.” 

She didn’t mention how one of them seemed to have doubled.

Elias sighed as he eventually gave in, following her down the stairs. As quick as Clara could without collapsing, she made her way down in time to see Mikasa kill the remaining titan that had its sight set on Clara’s roommate. She caught their attention when the door behind her and Elias slammed shut. 

“Clara!” Jean called out, waving at her. “How’s your head?”

“You will not mention what happened,” Clara seethed. Jean held his hands up in mock defense, backing away from her. 

“Whatever you say, _klutz._ ” Jean mocked, only fueling her anger more. She went to go grab his neck when Reiner grabbed onto her arm, preventing the angry twenty year old from injuring Jean.

“Calm down there, Richter.”

Clara’s head began to pound as Reiner started talking. Her hand shot up to her forehead, hissing out in pain. He looked at her in concern, pulling his hand away and backing up.

“See what you did, you fucking oaf?” Jean said. “Your voice probably gave her another concussion!”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

Clara backed away from the group, leaning up against the wall for support. Her head was pounding with a pain she had never felt before. It made her vision go black and her ears ring. Inhaling deeply, she slid down the wall and held her head in her hands as the pain increased, before stopping all at once. She lifted her head, notably drained, as she sat and pondered what the hell that was. Her body ached when she stood back up, but Clara was beginning to feel nauseous and wanted to go take a nap as soon as humanly possible, so she began refueling her gear. 

“You good?” Elias came up to her, eyes blazing with concern. 

“Fine now.”

Elias hummed, replacing his canisters of gas. He looked up at her bandaged head that Armin managed to put together, chuckling slightly. “You need to learn how to land.”

“Fuck off,” she scowled at him.

Now full of fuel, Clara went back up the stairs, ready for this day to be done. Her head had been throbbing ever since Reiner talked to her; blood was starting to trail down the side of her neck, an annoying tickle tracing her neck. She saw Mikasa look out one of the broken windows, rigid as she stared at the weird titan that had helped them.

The others had joined the two girls by now, watching as the titan continued to slaughter any and all titans that came its way. 

“We should help it,” Mikasa suggested.

“It’s a fucking _titan_ Mikasa!”Jean argued.

“It could still be an ally,” Annie said. The titan ran at an abnormal, sinking it’s teeth into its neck and used it as a weapon against the other titans coming near it. Elias stood next to Clara, arms crossed as they both watched in curiosity.

“It looks like it’s doing just fine on it’s own-- oh. Never mind.” 

The titan collapsed, steam rising from it’s nape. 

“Damn. That sucks,” Clara muttered.

The titan could have been useful. Well, it was useful, given that it took out a lot of titans, but it could’ve furthered titan research and helped humanity discover more about the titans and then--

Wait. Clara stopped her train of thought. Why did it matter to her? Why did she suddenly care about furthering titan research? All she wanted was to kill that big ass titan that breached Wall Maria and then eradicate the rest of the beasts. She didn’t really care about humanity anymore. She didn’t really care about anything anymore, let alone titan experiments and research. Clara blamed her concussion for the absurd thoughts of actually caring about the progress in titan research. 

“Oh well,” Elias sighed. “We should probably head back.”

Clara nodded, the two turning away. As they were preparing to leave, Clara noticed something shift on the titan, the steam coming out stronger. She held her hand out to Elias.

“Do you see that?”

Elias followed to where she was pointing to. “Is that a person?”

Mikasa gasped as the figure emerged, instantly going down there. Of fucking course it was him.

The body of Eren Jaeger, who was now very much not dead, sprung out of the titans' nape. Clara exchanged looks with Elias, who was in shock. A wave of emotions washed over Clara. Relief? Bitterness? Clara didn’t know and didn’t care to find out. 

Jean, Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie gaped at the boy— titan? Boy-titan? Clara pondered what Eren would be technically classified as. 

_A security threat._ Clara just knew that the MPs were going to have a field day once they found out about Eren’s new power.

 _Why couldn’t that be Stella?_

Another wave of nausea hit Clara, making her choke back whatever substance was in her stomach. Water pooled in her eyes as Elias crouched down next to her retching body, his green eyes wide and frantic. Deep inside, she regretted even thinking that. Eren didn’t deserve death, no one here did. they didn’t deserve the outcome Stella had gotten. Choking back another cough, Clara groaned and leaned her hands on her knees for support as Elias tried getting her attention. 

“We need to get you to a nurse,” Elias said, grabbing her by the arm and gently pulling her away from the scene going on behind them. 

“I-I’m fine.” Clara said, her teeth clenched. 

“No. You aren’t.”

“Yes I--”

“Clara Richter.” Elias gripped her face in his hands. “Your head is bleeding. You just threw up and you look like you’re about to pass out. You’ve done enough for today. Let Mikasa and Armin handle Eren.”

“I wasn’t going to bother with him.”

Elias scoffed, rolling his eyes before gripping onto her waist. Clara instantly fought back, struggling to get out of his hold. 

“Do you want me to fucking crash or are you going to stop?”

Clara paused, lowering her hands back down to her sides. She felt his grip around her waist tighten as he launched himself off of the roof, carefully maneuvering throughout Trost and to the area where they called for a retreat. 

Elias wasn't the worst at using ODM. He was quite good, in fact. You don't rank twelfth in the Cadet Corps by being shitty at using ODM. But every turn, every jerk, every pull seemed to make Clara shut her eyes in discontent, becoming dizzy as Trost passed by. 

She tried to fight off the fatigue that washed over her, her body slowly falling limp in Elias’ hold as he attempted to move faster. Clara could still feel her surroundings as her mind fell into a disoriented haze, trying to stay conscious. Elias landed soon after; Clara could hear the others land behind them, the bustling of the other side of the wall filled with soldiers and cadets went by unnoticed as Elias shoved his way through the people, calling for a nurse. Clara groaned at the tone of his voice, lightly smacking his arm to try and silence him. 

She could feel her ODM digging into her body as she was set down onto a table. The straps dug deep into her thighs and hips, but it was the only thing grounding her right now, the pain keeping her conscious. 

“What’s your name, soldier?”

Clara groaned. “Richter.”

“Do you have a first name, Richter? It’s for our records.”

“I do.”

Clara didn’t elaborate. Elias sighed, apologizing to the nurse. “It’s Clara Richter.”

“How old are you, Clara?”

“Twelve.”

“ _Oh my god,_ ” Elias grumbled, rubbing his forehead. “She’s twenty.”

The nurse nodded and motioned for Elias to help Clara sit up. They leaned her up against the wall, placing a pillow behind her back to help prop her up.

“Can you open your eyes for me Clara?”

She peaked one open, the golden hue significantly dimmer. 

“I’m going to ask you some questions and then examine your head, okay?”

“I’m fine.”

The nurse smiled softly at her. “I still need to check to see if you have any significant head injuries.”

Clara motioned towards the soldiers on the other side of the room who were moaning in pain. They were in worse shape than Clara, with some having limbs missing. “I think they need help more than I do.”

“Very noble of you to say that,” the nurse started, the blonde wisps of her hair sticking up in disarray. “But I still need to examine you.”

Clara slouched back, nodding slightly. The nurse ignored her glare and pulled out a sheet of paper, placing it on the stand next to her. 

“Your friend Elias told me that you might have a concussion. Do you remember what happened before the point of impact?”

“I crashed through the window of the HQ building and rammed into a desk.” Clara muttered, heat rising to her cheeks.

“Do you know where you are?”

“Trost…?”

The nurse nodded. “Do you have a headache or feel nauseous?”

Clara didn’t respond, looking down at her hands. The nurse glanced up, raising an eyebrow at her.

“No.”

“Liar,” Elias scoffed. “She threw up before we came here and almost passed out on the way.”

“You’ll get nothing out of lying to me, Clara.” The nurse stated, writing down what Elias said. Before she could get to asking her next question, the room began shaking, a loud _boom!_ making Clara slap her hands against her ears as she reeled back, screwing her eyes shut tight. 

“Given your reaction to that,” the nurse said, setting down her pen and turning to look at Clara with a slight grimace. “You definitely have a concussion.”

“I’m fine,” Clara gritted out. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” Elias mumbled, just loud enough for Clara to shove him away.

Jean walked into the makeshift infirmary, his hair slightly out of place. “They want all available recruits to meet up in front of the wall. Something about sealing the hole?”

“Huh?” Elias and Clara looked at each other. “Seal the hole?”

Jean shrugged. “Fuck if I know, but Commander Pyxis is about to start talking.”

Clara went to go swing her legs over the bed when a hand landed on her knee, keeping her in place. She glared up at the nurse, who looked back disapprovingly. 

“You know I can’t let you go out there.”

“That’s too bad.” Clara harshly shoved the nurse’s hand away, stumbling as she stood up. Jean reached out and helped her balance.

“Clara, maybe you should sit this one out.”

“Maybe you should sit on one of your swords.”

Jean rolled his eyes, pushing her back down on the bed. “We’ll come back and tell you what Pyxis said.”

Before she had time to reply, Elias grabbed Jean’s arm and quickly left the infirmary. Clara sat, defeated. The nurse looked at her, a smirk coating her face.

“I’m going to redo your bandage, okay?”

“Whatever.”

There was an awkward silence as the nurse began unraveling the bandage. Clara saw the white fabric coated in dried, black blood. 

“Thankfully your concussion doesn’t seem too severe, given that you have enough cognition to be difficult.” the nurse muttered the last part and began wrapping her head, doing a much better job at securing it than Armin had. Clara didn’t respond. 

“There,” the nurse secured the end. “I’m going to check on some other patients. You should get some rest.”

The nurse gave her a long, almost knowing look before turning away. Without missing a beat, Clara stood and fumbled out of the infirmary. It looked like she had missed whatever speech Pyxis had given, because soldiers were hustling to strap in their gear. Clara was thankful that the nurse hadn’t taken her ODM off. She ignored the pounding in her head as the sun began to shine brighter. Clara latched onto the wall, somehow managing to land gracefully on the wall as she started searching for people she knew. _If a concussion was all it took for me to be able to land I would’ve rammed my head into a desk months ago_ , Clara thought, irritated. 

In the distance, she saw Eren’s titan form swing at a building, soon after a red flare being shot up. 

“Clara!”

She spun back to see Armin running up to her. “What are you doing up here?!”

“Where’s Elias?”

“You know if you find him he’s going to get mad at you!”

“I really don’t care, Arlert. Where is he?”

Armin sighed and grabbed her wrist, dragging her to where the rest of the 104th were. “You really should be resting.”

Clara rolled her eyes and yanked her arm out of his grip, standing behind Elias. She poked him in his sides, causing him to jolt and turn around.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Clara?!”

“I got cleared to fight.”

“I fucking doubt that. Do you have any idea what you’re doing? You’re putting yourself at risk and--”

“Can you worry about yourself for once? I can take care of myself just fine, I don’t need you always acting like my dad--”

“Well if I don’t take care of you then who will?!”

“Can you both _shut the fuck up?!_ ” Jean yelled. “They’re about to deploy us, so stop being immature and get ready.”

The two twenty year olds were huffing at each other, Clara’s fists gripped tightly as she bit down on her lower lip. Wisps of brown hair fell out of her braid, blowing in the wind as Elias looked down and turned away, going to his position. 

Clara sighed, looking at the city that was falling in ruins. Titans were still breaking through the hole, smashing into buildings and trying to get ahold onto whatever person they could. Deciding to not follow Elias, Clara ran and jumped off the wall and began soaring through Trost, slicing down any and all titans that came her way. She was for sure going to get reprimanded by some higher up later on for going rogue, but given that she technically wasn’t assigned to any squad, she continued on.

Clara spotted a ten meter approaching some overwhelmed soldiers. Latching herself onto a building, she flung herself through the air, ignoring the tension growing in her head. Clara flipped through the air as she free fell, slicing the back of the titans knees and circling up and around to the front, blinding it. Clara landed on its shoulder, golden eyes glinting.

“I have to say, killing you fucks is the most fun I’ve had in _years_.” 

With that, she back flipped off of its shoulders, latching herself onto its back and propelled up. Clara sliced through its nape, its hot blood coating her face, steam surrounding her as she stuck her landing on a nearby roof. The overwhelmed soldiers had stopped and looked at Clara in amazed shock. Her eyes were frenzied, the blood slowly disappearing. From behind her, she heard the familiar roar of Eren’s titan as it heaved the boulder into the air, a captain yelling to go and defend Eren. Just this once would she listen to a member of the Garrison. 

Clara ran off the roof, dodging fallen debris and slicing through titans. Intricate flips and spins helped Clara conserve her gas, something she had learned to do three months into ODM training. The view of Clara wreaking havoc on the titans was hypnotizing to watch as some soldiers stopped what they were doing and watched the girl flip through the air. Clara was oblivious to the attention as she approached a thirteen-meter that had its sight set on Eren. She dug her blades into its Achilles tendon and latched herself onto a tower, flinging herself up to miss being crushed by the falling titan. The adrenaline pumping through her veins dulled whatever pain had arisen in her head. She stood on the edge of the tower, watching the titan tumble to the ground before jumping off, not bothering to use her ODM as she landed right below its nape.

Clara spun her swords a few times before raising them into the air and tearing through the nape. She jumped back before the blood had time to land on her, rolling into her landing before stabilizing herself into a squat. Eren was passing her, Mikasa, Armin and some Garrison members defending him. 

“Go, Eren!” 

With a thunderous roar, Eren threw the boulder into the hole, the ground shaking as Clara stood up and ran behind a building to avoid being hit by debris. She peaked around the corner, watching as Eren’s titan collapsed, Mikasa, Eren, and a Garrison member landing on him as they struggled to get his body out of his titan form. Clara looked to her right, seeing a few titans approaching them, debating on whether or not she wanted to be the one to kill the titans. But Clara had three rules she had set for herself the moment she enlisted in the Cadet Corps:

One, don’t get attached to fellow soldiers. It was pointless if they were all just going to end up dying (this did not apply to Elias, and to an extent, the trio).

Two, trust your intuition as it had never been wrong thus far.

And three, _never_ hesitate.

Clara ran through the streets, latching her hooks onto one of the approaching titans and shooting forward. Clara spun around the titan, taking out its legs and killing it soon thereafter. She stumbled a little as landed right in front of the small group, exhaustion was beginning to creep up on her. Clara shook her head, breathing heavily and went to finish off the remaining titans, but was stopped when she saw a body dart through the air, finishing off two of the titans in seconds. She watched, impressed, as the body spun through the air, cutting through the titans in perfection. The final titan collapsed mere feet in front of Clara, causing her to stumble back and raise an arm in protection. The person landed on the head of the deceased titan, their cape billowing in the wind-- Clara’s eyes hardened at the sight of the Wings of Freedom. The Scout turned his head, looking down at them with a blank expression. Clara’s breath hitched as she recognized his face.

“Oi, brats.” He called. “What the hell is going on here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my GOD the amount of time it took be to finish this chapter.... i almost went insane.
> 
> anyways, have yall watched season four?? i watched the first episode then decided to binge read the manga in a day. but so far its so good!! SPOILERS but i cant wait for the declaration of war scene WHEW 
> 
> ALSO THE LEVI CRUMBS WE GOT IN EP TWO SDJDKSHSKJHDKS i love that ma n. i lov e h im so muc h... ..
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! hopefully i can get the next one out sooner but uhhh my procrastination renders me useless at stuff like that...
> 
> until next time!


	6. trials and propositions

Levi hated trials. He hated most public events, whether they'd be parties, trials, meetings, he hated all of it. So when Erwin approached him with his plan on securing the Jaeger kid from the MP's, he was less than happy to attend.

The two stood in the hall, waiting to enter the courtroom. Levi was already bored out of his mind, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, watching people pass by with disdain. There were at least a thousand things he would rather be doing right now. He didn't bother engaging in conversation with Erwin and whatever soldier he was talking to, finding people watching much more entertaining than whatever political discourse the two were having. That was when he saw Clara— Humanity's Rage.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't occasionally thought about her. Mainly in passing, nothing too extreme. He was curious about her strength, the words from the send off ringing in his mind every so often. 

_You're Humanity's Rage. When you get into it, you're unstoppable._

Levi doubted it. No one was unstoppable, especially not an anger driven twenty-year old. Despite that, his stare lingered on her. Her eyes were hard, her body language very evident, showing that she didn't want to be here as her arms were crossed and nose scrunched in disgust as members of the Military Police passed her. A boy around her age came up next to her, the hardness in her eyes softening slightly at the sight of him, but returned when he said something to her, earning a slap on the arm.

Before he could tear his eyes away from the two, the boy next to her caught his stare and widened his eyes. Levi recognized him as the one from the send off. The boy quickly whispered something to her, making her look at Levi, who shifted awkwardly and turned his attention to Erwin. 

By now, people were starting to file into the courtroom, Erwin and Levi following suit. Of course, with his luck, he ended up next to Clara as they were waiting to enter.

"You know," she said. "It's not polite to stare."

The boy next to her gaped, his cheeks heating. "Clara!"

Clara rolled her eyes before grabbing his arm and yanking him into the room, wanting to get this done as quickly as possible. 

"Clara Richter." Erwin said from besides Levi as they took their spot. Clara was standing across the room in the witness area, staring into space as the boy continued to scold her.

"Second in her class, only because of aggression issues. Shadis praises her a lot. Expert in hand to hand combat, ODM gear, and sword fighting. Not good at landing, though." 

“So I’ve been told.”

"Rumor has it she's planning on joining us," Erwin said slyly. "And if she does, I want you to be prepared."

"You want her in my squad." Levi stated.

"I want her to help us," Erwin clarified, quieting down as General Zachary sat at the head of the room. "Our best bet of her being a successful soldier is if she's under your supervision."

Humanity's Strongest and Humanity's Rage. Levi pondered the thought, not paying attention to the introduction. Obviously he'd need to see her in action first, but if the rumors held any semblance of truth to them, he'd be more than willing to have her be a part of his squad. Of course they’d need to work on her attitude issues if what Shadis said about her was correct-- Levi wouldn’t risk his teams coherency and trust in one another just for a brat to come in and ruin it all because of some childish temper issues.

Clara was _bored._ Originally, when she was called as a witness to the trial, she thought it’d be exciting. She expected to witness a one-on-one brawl between the MPs and the Survey Corps, fighting as they determined who would be the one to ultimately send Eren to his premature death. So far, all she got was Zachary droning on about proceedings and requesting information from both sides. She didn’t understand why he garnered so much fear from people-- he was just an old man. When she had first heard about him, Clara had expected him to be some sort of intimidating god who was personally blessed by Ymir and the Walls. Needless to say, she was disappointed when he first walked out. 

Her eyes scanned the crowd, falling onto who looked like to be a member of the Order of the Walls. She smirked as she turned her head slightly towards Elias.

“Who’s the Wall fanatic?”

“I think that’s Pastor Nick. He’s pretty powerful in the church.”

“You think he’ll condemn me to Wall hell if I tell him that a bunch of stones don’t have mystical powers?”

Elias fought to hide his laugh, but a small snort escaped him, some attention turning towards the two who were trying their best to not laugh at the ridiculousness of the Wall worshippers. They ignored the pointed look coming from Rico and some of the other witnesses, but slowly started to calm down as the Military Police started talking about executing Eren. Pastor Nick started spewing propaganda, causing Clara and Elias to go into another bout of snorting. This time it was drowned out by the commotion from the MPs, so they didn’t have to worry about being called out.

Erwin raised his hand patiently, waiting for the MPs to quiet down. Zachary looked relieved when he saw Erwin and called on him.

“Erwin, what do you propose we do?”

Erwin lowered his hand. “I, Erwin Smith, propose that we let Eren join the Survey Corps. We will utilize his power to retake Wall Maria and reinstate him as a full member of the Scouts.”

There was a pause as everyone waited for him to continue.

“That’s all.”

“Pathetic.” Clara scoffed under her breath as Erwin began delving into the logistics of retaking the Wall. Despite wanting her home back, Clara had given up on ever returning to Shiganshina when she was forced onto the evacuation boat five years ago. If that was the best the Survey Corps commander could come up with to try and save Eren, then she really questioned the legitimacy of the Scouts.

“We can’t afford anymore of these childish antics coming from you!” A merchant yelled, causing Clara and Elias to roll their eyes simultaneously. They shared a hatred for the rich merchants within the Walls.

“Squealing louder won't help your case, pig.” Elias stiffened when Captain Levi began speaking, elated that his idol was speaking against the rich. “While we're bolstering our defenses, do you think the Titans are going to stand idly by? And when you say we can't afford do you speak for anyone other than your fat merchant friends?”

Clara smirked as he continued. “Do you pigs even realize that most of our people are struggling just to survive off what little land we have left?”

Clara was tempted to snort, just to bolden his point, but held back. “Maybe you had a point about liking him.”

“Of course I did!” Elias whispered harshly. “Wait, shut up, Pastor Nick is speaking!”

Clara bit back a laugh as Pastor Nick continued spewing extremist propaganda. “The Wall is a miracle! A blessing! And it’s divinity transcends human comprehension!”

“It’s a bunch of rocks,” Clara couldn’t stop herself. “It doesn’t transcend _shit._ ” 

Clara regretted speaking immediately after. Once upon a time, she wouldn’t cower back after saying what was on her mind, but now she could hardly handle public speaking. Elias slapped her leg lightly but was chuckling as his other hand covered his face. A few people in the audience began laughing as well; Levi smirked while Erwin looked at her in clear amusement. Pastor Nick’s cheeks flared as he went to retort, but was interrupted by Zachary banging his gavel and calling for order. 

Clara revelled in the fact that she got the last word. 

“Now, Mister Jaeger,” Zachary motioned towards Eren, who was chained onto a post. “You have made a pledge as a soldier to defend and protect humanity. Can you control your abilities and still serve?”

“Yes, sir, I can!”

“Is that so?” Eren nodded his head vigorously. “But it says here on the transcript from the battle of Trost that after transforming you tried to crush Mikasa Ackerman.”

 _Ohhh, that’s why the red flare was fired,_ Clara thought. Eren looked confused and scared out of his mind as he whipped his head to Mikasa.

“Where is Mikasa Ackerman?”

“Here, sir.” Mikasa said, raising her hand. 

“Is it true that Eren Jaeger assaulted you while in his titan form?”

Mikasa thought it over, not wanting to answer, but after a whisper from Rico, nodded her head. “Yes. All of it is true. But he also--”

Gasps echoed throughout the courtroom as Mikasa admitted to Eren trying to kill her. Clara gave out a quiet sigh, trying to calm down her heart beat before speaking up.

"However," she started, all eyes turning to her. "His titan saved us on more than one occasion. He stood between Ackerman and I and killed another titan. If he hadn't, we'd probably be dead."

"Also," Clara held an air that commanded attention. Her voice wasn’t particularly loud, but it was powerful enough to demand everyone to listen. "I orchestrated a plan that had Eren follow us to the HQ building that was being overrun by titans. By doing this, he attracted the attention of those titans and allowed us to enter the supply base, refuel, and leave without having to engage in combat. If it wasn't for that, then the remaining survivors would've had no chance. Not to mention he did, ultimately, end up sealing the hole in the wall.”

“Those injuries,” Zachary motioned towards her still bandaged forehead. “Were they from Jaeger?”

Heat flushed her cheeks as Elias began sniggering. She discreetly pinched his thigh, making him let out a small yelp.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Clara scrunched up her nose. 

“It appears Ackerman sustained minor injuries from Mister Jaeger’s attack. Did he end up attacking you, causing you to get injured?”

“No. I’m just bad at landing.”

Murmurs filled the room. Clara rolled her eyes.

“And who are you?” One of the MP’s asked snarkily. Holy fuck, she couldn't stand those pigs.

“Clara Richter of the 104th Regiment.” She had replied, giving a fake and overly enthusiastic salute. The room erupted into gasps. Clara hated the attention, rubbing at her now sweaty neck. Zachary nodded, pulling up her file.

“It says here that you grew up in Shiganshina.”

“I did.”

“Did you know Eren Jaeger in your time there?”

Clara's blood ran cold as she glared at the MP’s and Zachary. She could feel Elias grip her wrist in warning, the other Scouts giving her a pleading look to not fuck this up.

“I would babysit him from time to time,”

Not the full truth, but not a lie. 

“And Miss Ackerman, the Jaeger’s took you in at a young age, is that right?”

Mikasa nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“They’re protecting him!” Someone called out. “They’re protecting that monster!”

“Might it also be known that at the age of nine, Ackerman and Jaeger killed three kidnappers. Even though it was in self defense, I can’t help but question whether or not we should invest in him?”

“We all know about Humanity’s Rage!” An audience member yelled, ignoring Nile’s point and gesturing towards Clara. “Her and Ackerman are probably titans too!”

“Dissect them!

“Yeah, maybe we should cut them open, too, just to be safe!”

The room ignited into chaos as people threw insults and accusations her way. Clara stood unbothered, rolling her eyes. She didn't care about the opinions of the MPs and the Wall fanatics and especially not the merchants. If anything she was glad they didn't like her, it showed that she was nothing like them.

Zachary banged his gavel onto the desk, ordering for the commotion to cease.

“Leave them out of it!” Eren yelled. “You all just want to push your selfish agendas. You’re all too blind to see what’s happening right in front of you! None of you have even seen a titan! What’s the point in having all of this power if you can’t fight?! If you want to stay here and be remembered as a coward, that’s fine! Put all of your faith in me!”

Clara was motionless as her small pep talk from earlier on the roof came back. Elias nudged her, whispering, “he’s like a mini Clara.”

Clara ignored him, her hands growing clammy as the MPs drew out their guns and aimed them at Eren. A pit formed in the bottom of her stomach as she shut her eyes, getting ready for the sound of gunshots. However, the gunshots never came. Clara peeked an eye open to see Captain Levi give another kick to Eren, knocking a tooth out.

“You know personally, I think nothing instills discipline like pain.”

Clara disagreed but kept her mouth shut, watching as he continued beating Eren into a pulp. It was impressive, going up against a child-titan with the confidence of an entire brigade of soldiers. She supposed this was part of why he was called Humanity’s Strongest. The Military Police were growing uncomfortable, Mikasa was becoming angry as Armin fought to hold her back while everyone else watched in partial fear.

“Levi, stop! What if he turns into a titan?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t you guys want to dissect him?”

“Captain,” Zachary called. Levi turned, holding up Eren’s weak head. “If you had to, could you kill him?”

“Without a problem. I can kill him if I have to, which is more than what everyone else would be able to do. Unless the Military Police want to deal with him?”

Clara was slightly offended at his choice of words. I can kill titans, too, she thought bitterly. 

“Sir, I have a proposition.” Erwin raised his hand again. Zachary motioned for him to continue. 

“I suggest that Eren be placed under Captain Levi’s supervision. We will then conduct a recon mission outside of the walls that Eren will join. If he successfully controls his ability… he will have shown his value to mankind.”

Zachary pondered Erwin’s words, mulling over both sides. Clara watched his eyes shift across the courtroom, taking in everyone's behavior and reaction. He finally nodded and banged his gavel.

“I have made my choice.”

|***|

Clara stood in the lobby of the courthouse, waiting for Elias to finish going to the bathroom. The Survey Corps got their way in the end, much to the dismay of the Military Police. Seeing them glare in rage at Erwin almost warmed Clara’s heart-- she loved seeing them so defeated. 

“That turned out better than expected.”

Elias flung an arm around her shoulder and began guiding them through the packed courthouse. 

“Please tell me you washed your hands.” Clara shrugged him off of her. 

“Of course I did! Who do you think I--”

"Clara Richter?"

Clara turned around, an annoyed look on her face at the interruption of her and Elias' conversation. Elias tensed and gave a near perfect salute at the sight of Commander Erwin and Captain Levi. Clara rolled her eyes when Elias nudged her, going into a lazy, almost mocking, salute. Levi narrowed his eyes at her; Erwin paid no mind, instead smiling at her, which caused a slight bout of anger to bubble up within her.

"I hope we weren't interrupting,"

"Well, actually--"

"You weren't!" Elias piped up, glaring at Clara. 

Erwin looked between the two, amusement clear in his eyes. "Clara, I was hoping to speak to you in private."

She narrowed her eyes at him, before looking at Levi, who looked unimpressed. She glanced at Elias, who looked thrilled that the commander wanted to talk to her in private.

“We were just about to--”

"I'll see you later, Clary!"

"Wait--!" Clara tried reaching out to him, but he danced out of her reach and left her with the two men. She groaned slightly, turning back to the commander and the captain.

"If you could follow us." Erwin began leading her through the courthouse. Clara reluctantly followed up the stairs. They entered a room and Clara's glare hardened as she saw Eren sitting on the couch. Another Scout was there as well, wearing goggles and prodding at Eren’s cheek like he was some sort of test subject. 

Eren tensed as he saw her enter the room. This didn't go unmissed by Levi, who looked between the two. 

"What is this?" Clara all but snarled. 

"We have a proposition for you." Erwin told her. 

"A proposition."

Erwin motioned to the seat across from him, but Clara remained standing, her arms crossed. Erwin brushed it off with a smile, while Levi sat down next to Eren, looking at the girl in disapproval.

"There are rumors circulating that you intend to join the Survey Corps," Clara rolled her eyes. "We would like to offer you an early entry."

"Pass." Clara turned around, ready to walk out.

"We are offering you a spot on the Elite Special Operations Squad. We heard about how you took down two Abnormal's in Trost-- that's quite impressive, given that that was your first fight against titans. With your skill in battle and strategy and with Eren's titan form, we believe that we can be successful in gaining new information and taking down the titans."

Clara thought it over. "If I _weren’t_ to join early, would I still be placed on the elite squad?"

"Yes."

Clara sighed. "Fine, I'll join." 

“Really?!” Eren shot up. “You’re joining the Survey Corps?!”

Clara scrunched her nose at him. “Yes, really. Didn’t I just say that?”

Eren sat back, a light blush rising to his cheeks. Clara shook her head slightly and turned back towards the door, wanting nothing more than the go back to her room and sleep.

"Wait, Clara! I just... want to thank you for defending me out there."

Clara clenched her fists. She snapped around towards him. "I'm not covering your ass like that again, Jaeger, you understand?" He nodded quickly.

"And plus..." she trailed off, turning the door handle. "I didn't do it for you." 

“We leave tomorrow at dawn!” She heard Erwin call out to her, but she was already half way down the hall. 

|***|

When Clara arrived back at the base, she went to her room and sunk face first into her pillow. The past week had somehow taken a toll on her-- she was mentally exhausted and had wanted nothing more than to sleep for three weeks.

She didn’t know why she had accepted Erwin’s “early admission.” Well, she did, but she wouldn’t admit her selfish reasoning. Not yet, at least. Not until she had time to get adjusted to the Elite Squad. Her head shot up before she groaned, realizing that she still had to tell Elias that she’d be leaving. Clara rolled off her bed with another groan before reluctantly going down to the canteen. She threw her hair up in a ponytail while walking, desperate to get the annoying wisps of hair out of her face. 

There was a somber feel in the air of the canteen. She spotted Elias sitting next to Jean and a few other cadets, poking at his food. Clara grabbed a tray of soup and sat across from him, forcing whatever cadet had been sitting there to move over. 

“Clary!” Elias smiled at her, but gave her a disapproving glare as she sat down in the preoccupied seat. “You could’ve asked.”

Clara rolled her eyes and turned to the boy. “You mind if I sit here?”

“I guess not.” He grumbled, his head turning back down to his soup.

“So what did the commander want?” Elias asked excitedly. The table directed their attention to Clara, who dropped her spoon after burning her tongue, eyes screwed shut in pain.

“He offered me a position on Captain Levi’s squad--”

“ _What?!_ ” Elias all but screamed, the canteen falling silent. 

“Don’t cream your pants, Eli.” Clara sunk back from him as he leaned over the table. 

“First of all, gross. Second of all, _holy shit my best friend is joining_ the _Captain Levi’s squad--_ ”

“You’re joining the Scouts?”

Clara glanced at Mikasa, who almost looked… hopeful? Armin’s eyes were wide and shining.

“I guess.”

“Have fun getting killed.” Jean grumbled into his soup. Clara shrugged, taking a bite of her bread.

There was an awkward silence-- Clara didn’t know why. It’s not like he was wrong as the chances of survival in the Survey Corps was slim to none. Nobody replied, the somber feeling returning. 

“I leave tomorrow at dawn,” Clara told Elias. “You’re gonna help me pack.”

“Who said that?”

“Me. Just now. Let’s go.”

Clara dragged Elias out of his spot, marching away as Sasha dived for their leftovers. 

“Hey _!_ I wasn’t finished!” 

“Oh really? ‘Cause it looked like you were.”

Elias gave her a pointed glare before tugging his arm out of her grasp, falling in step with her. Clara reverted back into her quiet nature, eyes straight ahead as she led them to her room. 

When they finally arrived at her room, Elias plopped down onto her bed, watching as she pulled out a small trunk and began shoving it filled with her uniforms and leisure clothes. 

“How long will it be until I see you again?”

Clara froze. “I don’t know. Sometime after the choosing ceremony thing.”

Elias nodded. Clara remained frozen, fiddling with the straps of her harness. “You know this will be the longest we’ve been separated in five years.”

“Yeah.” Elias whispered.

Clara shook her head softly and began packing again. She opened her drawers, haphazardly throwing her underwear into the trunk. When it was emptied, she stared at the book she had kept hidden underneath her garments. 

She picked it up carefully and began going through the book of drawings she had made over the years. They were mostly portraits of her family, the book growing repetitive with the amount of sketches that depicted her parents and Stella. Nostalgia filled her body as she continued turning the pages, ignoring the way Elias came up and stood behind her, scanning the pages with her. Clara was close to shutting it and placing it in her bag, but stopped when she came across one she had drawn a few months ago. 

The green cape of the Survey Corps was adorned on the back of the soldier who was standing atop of the wall, facing off with the Colossal titan. The side of his face was coated in hatred as his jade eyes stared into the face of the titan.

Clara didn't know why she was given the title of Humanity’s Rage. She thought Eren fit that mold much better than she did.

Deep inside she wasn’t angry. Unlike Eren, she wasn’t obsessed with the thought of killing the titans and securing her freedom. She did want to eradicate the titans, but it wasn’t out of hatred. It was out of sorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyye we gettin some character development from clara (don't expect it to last very long tho she is a complex character or at least i hope to portray her that way) this chapter took me less time bc i prewrote the trial scene so yay two updates in a week!! hopefully i can pump out the next one as my exams are almost finished!! hope you guys enjoyed this chapter:)


End file.
